Lies in love, marriage and the Sanford scandal

Posted on July 1, 2009
Filed Under Lies, Love | Leave a Comment

little bit of distrust goes a long way. In the wake of the Sanford scandal I am trying to get a better handle of why we lie and how we can tell if someone is telling us the truth. My interest piqued during the political scandal of the Italian Prime Minister. However, it began several years ago when a male friend of mine began telling me stories about a new woman in his life.

I was a good listener until he asked the question, “So what do you think?”

Did he really want to know that she lying and manipulating him? He seems to have a knack for finding women to marry and divorce. Had I realized this about him earlier, I would have taken a ticket to stand in line at the altar and then divorce court.

The truth is this — he did not want to hear the truth. He wanted me to say, “It’s all right that she is telling you little white lies.” Instead I said, “No, no, no. Lies are not good.” Then he said — as do most men who ask my opinion – that I am tough on their women. Not true. I am tough on women and men who tell outright lies.

And I am particularly outraged when a man lies to a woman with the integrity of Jenny Sanford. She had the courage to give her husband some latitude towards the goal of keeping their marriage intact.

But in love and marriage, life and politics, lies happen.

In the wake of the Mark Sanford “out hiking” story, I remembered a book by jury consultant Jo-Ellan Dimitrius. She has worked on over 600 trials – from OJ Simpson to the Enron scandal. She has written “Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior — Anytime, Anyplace.” It is a book about truth and lies. ABC NEWS

What I find really fascinating about people who tell lies is how they manage to lie and keep their stories straight? In my world the truth is so much easier to remember.

Another word about lies:

It is very easy to lie to ourselves. As such it helps to have girlfriends who keep us honest or support us when we bear the brunt of a tangled web of lies. Here is a group supporting Jenny Sanford Palmetto_Family_Council: Stand_with_Jenny Campaign

And here are two other stories that point to the value of friends and facing ourselves honestly.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, Jenny Sanford

Posted on June 29, 2009
Filed Under Love | Leave a Comment

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave.” In the world of political wives, what makes infidelity so painful is watching the scenario play out in public.

While Gov. Mark Sanford rejects the notion about stepping down Jenny Sanford talks to the Associated Press about their marriage. Unlike Elizabeth Edwards and Silda Spitzer, wife of New York’s former governor, Jenny was not standing by her husband’s side during his tearful press announcement that he was having an affair. She is, however, giving every indication that she believes in marriage and parenting.

While I firmly believe that what happens behind closed doors is between two people — when taxpayer dollars are involved the public has a right to be outraged while digging for the truth. Nonetheless, I have immense sympathy and admiration for women such as Elizabeth and Silda and Jenny who want to keep their families together.

We saw how painful it has been for Elizabeth Edwards who was forced to face up to her husband’s mistress and a love-child. John Edwards is being investigated because of the than $100,000 paid for video production to the firm of the woman with whom he had an affair. Johns-indiscreet-love-affair ”
In April Silda Spitzer was back in the news, and once again, probably not by choice. One year ago she saw the family devastation surrounding the high-priced escort with whom her husband was involved.Silda and Elizabeth are political wives among many who have shown us how to “stand by your man.” More importantly they survived the critics and the unkind words while reinforcing the meaning of “for better or worse.” This may or may not turn out to be the case with Jenny Sanford.

As reported in my column in The Examiner
Copyright 2009 Rita Watson

Sweet revenge, Madoff is totally and utterly broke

Posted on June 28, 2009
Filed Under Money | Leave a Comment

Bernie’s broke and if prison is revenge it is sweet. And revenge is really sweet because it comes from passion according to a National Geographic report a few years back. We derive satisfaction from revenge. Read more

Now this is love, she is reading the Waxman-Markey bill. Did they?

Posted on June 26, 2009
Filed Under Politics | Leave a Comment

How many trees went into the printing and duplication of this bill?

Love or scheme from Citigroup? More scheming from Madoff

Posted on June 24, 2009
Filed Under Money | Leave a Comment

As I looked at today’s news, I was hoping to see a bit of love from Citigroup and less scheming from Madoff. Sad to say, some things are not what they seem.

Citigroup has decided to cut bonuses and to boost salaries. At first I thought, “What a generous idea from business in an age in which the headline stories ring with foreclosures. ” Read more

Susan Boyle’s love and kisses from Wembley

Posted on June 22, 2009
Filed Under Love | Leave a Comment

In love and in life, we get back what we give. I often remind women of the importance of lavishing love because giving love is uplifting and often means receiving love in return. Susan Boyle sent us love and kisses from Wembley with her song and in return received wild approval from her audience. This was by far her best and most relaxed performance. Read more

DNA and on-line dating

Posted on June 20, 2009
Filed Under Love | Leave a Comment

TIME Magazine this week is featuring a story about DNA tests that can help predict couples that might be the perfect match. I wrote about this on Sunday, August 3, 2008. Here is the edited version with a link at the end to the TIME magazine article. Read more

The love myth and the monster called “Alone”

Posted on June 18, 2009
Filed Under Love | Leave a Comment

Every day on every television channel, movie, talk show, soap opera, magazine — the love myth is reinforced. It tells us, “Without love, without a relationship, you are not whole.”

(Although Susan Boyle may have proven us wrong on that score As with the ups and downs of love, Susan Boyle is back and singing triumphantly — update (Watch for the follow-up) Read more

Susan Boyle’s CD sign-up link: dreams do come true

Posted on June 15, 2009
Filed Under Love | Leave a Comment

I believe in the power of visualization and making dreams come true. I believe that with clear focus we can even make a love dream come true. I think Susan Boyle reached Britain’s Got Talent because of her singing and her determination.

Despite a set-back when she lost the competition, she has persevered with a few ups and down. But she became so popular that there is already a link to Amazon.com for those waiting to reserve the yet to be made Susan Boyle CD. Here is the link Amazon.com/New Release Susan-Boyle . Read more

Susan Boyle is back with an audience loving her

Posted on June 13, 2009
Filed Under Love | Leave a Comment

As with the ups and downs of any relationship, Susan Boyle has been on a rollercoaster. However, when it comes to a vision, she has held onto her dream. Here is a video of her singing with the Britain’s Got Talent tour in Birmingham, UK. Although her world seem to come crashing down a few weeks ago, here she is singing triumphantly. So often in love relationships — or even in workplace relationships — when we hit a rocky road, we lose patience. Instead of focusing on our vision, we continue down a path or anger and complaint. Take a page from the Susan Boyle dream book and listen to her songs.